if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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