Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
