Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
