I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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