I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
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