part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
