I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
