"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
