stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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