My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
