So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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