Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
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