sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
