I heard we made out
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
