I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
