sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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