If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
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