He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Girls should come with a carfax report
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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