I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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