I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
