That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Randomize
