well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
