Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
