I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
