He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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