He had one of those small greek statue penises
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
