I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
