So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
