why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
