This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
