For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
