We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
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