good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
