Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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