Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
