forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
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