Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
