It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
