I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Bring me that man meat
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
