you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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