you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
