ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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