Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
