we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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