So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
