standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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