Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
