It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
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