Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
