i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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