All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Randomize
